


Shirt

by navaan



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Canonical Character Death, Civil War, Invincible Iron Man Vol. 1 (2008), Love, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, Sharing Clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-23 20:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/navaan/pseuds/navaan
Summary: He still has my fucking shirt, Steve thinks bitterly.You better still have it, Stark.





	Shirt

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the cap-ironman Alphabet Challenge 2018 for the concepts of S – Shirt, Sadness, Sad Steve
> 
> This was translated into Chinese by StephanieSui and you can find it here [HERE (account locked)](http://hailstony.actbbs.com/thread-5847-1-1.html)

Steve wakes up and the bed's still warm, but when he stretches out to reach for Tony, he finds his lover has already left the bed. It's not unusual for Tony to slip out and sneak to the workshop at odd hours and with some regrets Steve thinks it's time for him to slip out too, get dressed, make his way down to the Avengers' kitchen before anyone can notice in which room he spent the night. 

They haven't told anyone about their arrangement. People don't expect this from Tony, but they both like to keep things private. Avengers are like a bunch of school kids sometimes, and gossip like on the school yard. While Steve prefers to not give them more to gossip about than necessary, Tony is used to keeping things to himself, letting the world think whatever it wants to think about him. “It's safer,” Tony usually says. “For both of us. Can you imagine what the media would have to say about this?”

He doesn't want to know.

The obsession with celebrities and their love lives has always put him off.

There are things a man should be allowed to keep within the privacy of his own home.

Even when his own home turns out to be another man's home more often than not.

He gathers his clothes, realizes his blue button down shirt is missing, searches again and then just pulls a sweatshirt from his bag to slip it on. He sends Tony a message before he starts his daily run: “That's my favorite shirt, Mister. Don't get oil on it.”

He forgets about the shirt until Tony wears it – and nothing else - after a shower and in the privacy of his room instead o the training rooms and Steve gets to have him against the wall, dressed in Steve's own clothes. He pushes Tony's back against the wall, hoists him up so his feet are dangling in the air and has his way with him.

“You prepared,” he whispers, when he slips in easily and Tony makes a little pleased noise and huffs out a: “Yeah, always prepared.”

It's the sexiest and most intimate thing.

Tony whines; his legs are wrapped around Steve's body. “I love when you use your strength.”

“You look good in my shirt,” he whispers and starts to move faster, moans against Tony's skin. “I want it back, but later. Later.”

It's too hot and too fast and not enough and they ruin the shirt together.

* * *

Three weeks later, Tony nearly kills and saves himself with an experimental virus that changes him. They argue. Steve's upset and wants to understand, wants his lover back as he was.

But he doesn't know that registration is brewing.

They never make up.

Steve never gets the shirt back.

* * *

For days after coming back to life his memories are a mess. He's been propelled through time and memories, true and untrue, out and back into his body, and finally right into a fight for his life.

 _He still has my fucking shirt_ , Steve thinks bitterly, when memories sort themselves out and all thoughts good and bad come back to Tony. _You better still have it, Stark. I want it back._

Registration is still on and Steve has to pick up the pieces, but for him it's not like the world has turned since he died. He's still angry and hurt – and the feelings of betrayal are the hardest to take. The world is still a mess and suddenly there are Skrulls to fight. Tony isn't one of them – and Steve needs to sort out for himself if that's a good or bad thing, when he sees a glimpse of Iron Man for less than a second on a battlefield they share.

Only days later Osborn takes over the reins – chance and heavy-handed manipulation handing him power that doesn't belong in his hands. That the world has come this far just tells of how right he was. 

_Are you proud of yourself, Tony? Happy now? Everyone hates you as much as everyone else and registration is the evil we all feared in the hands of an unhinged super villain. Well done._

Steve punches a wall. How the hell has Tony allowed it all to get this far out of hand? And why did nobody else step in to set it right when Tony failed?

“You were dead,” Sharon whispers. She's pale and doesn't want to go into details. “We were all out of it for a while, fighting our own fights.”

“Stark messed up,” says Sam and he has no sympathy. Bucky shrugs, not disagreeing, but also not sharing his own evaluation of the mess they're in.

There's only one thing that matters to Steve “Where's Tony?”

Sharon and Bucky only stare at him like he's a crazy person. He wonders if they can hear the hurt and anger in his voice.

Finally Sam's the one who switches on the television set and lets him watch Osborn punch Iron Man into within an inch of his life. He feels something then, something more than anger, something more than rage.

Right now he doesn't have a word for it.

But he switches off the news and gets up.

* * *

Pepper greets them. She's crying and hugs Steve when she sees him. He's not sure they ever even shook hands before. He _knows_ that nobody really understands how deep the break between him and Tony went – how deep because of the depth of what was broken.

Tony's in a med bed and looks worse than he expected.

“He's in a coma,” Pepper says and she's crying. “He won't wake up. He... deleted his... I don't know what he did.”

Steve sits down in chair by the bedside, watches the machines making Tony's chest rise up and fall, takes in the terrible blue and black bruises on the pale face and remembers his own fists crashing down on Iron Man. He had wanted to leave bruises like that in his terrible rage.

He has to look away. 

_What were you thinking, Tony? What did you do to yourself?_

He clenches his fists. 

He'd love to hit something now.

But not Tony.

“You're dead,” he spits. “Now I'm alive and you're as good as dead. And nobody even knows.” He doesn't dare speak the more important questions: _Was this worth it? How much guilt did you load onto yourself to punish yourself like this? Did you miss me? Did it hurt you to miss me? I hope it did!_

Because it hurts Steve now to see Tony like this and it shouldn't.

He clenches and unclenches his fists, doesn't dare touch Tony's hand. He needs to get back into action and make things right. But he's too angry and something else is beneath that; he doesn't want to acknowledge it because it would break him. 

“See what a mess you left me? And you still have my damn shirt!”

It's the last thing he says before slumping back in his chair, staring at Tony as if he can wake him with his anger alone. He sits in silence until Pepper and Bucky return.

“There's something,” she says and she's holding a brown paper package. He stares at it.

“Tony left it for Captain America.”

“That's Bucky now,” he shoots back and knows he sounds indifferent and cold.

“Captain America,” she says and makes him take it.

He opens it slowly and realizes he's being watched by two pairs of eyes. He recognizes the fabric inside without fully opening it and there's a note. “It belonged to Steve. I always wanted to return it and then it was to late. T. S.”

He lets himself fall back in his chair, note in hand, the anger he so acutely held onto until now bleeding out of him.

“Steve?” Bucky asks.

He swallows, blinks to keep the tears out of his eyes. 

“Steve?” 

“I'm fine,” he lies and thinks of Tony smiling at him, dressed in Steve's blue shirt, legs bare, waiting for him. “I'm fine.”

But he isn't.

He isn't.

He reaches out and squeezes Tony's lifeless hand.

“I came back,” he says. “I'm alive. Now it's your turn, you bastard.”

Maybe then he can figure out what to do with all this pain he's feeling.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me for fic updates on [tumblr](https://navaanwrites.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/navaanwrites). This fic has a post on the tumblr [here](https://navaanwrites.tumblr.com/post/171914835849/shirt-navaan-marvel-616-archive-of-our-own) in case you want to share it.


End file.
